I’m Still Standing

Recently, The Lord impressed me that I needed to re-do the book I published in 2008 after my battle with breast cancer. The revised and updated edition of I’m Still Standing is now completed and is available on Amazon. From the back cover:

ISS CoverThe revised and updated edition of I’m Still Standing includes both the original compilation of essays about the author’s battle with breast cancer in 2006, and an addendum to each that is sub-titled 2020 Hindsight. The intervening years, including the challenges of Covid-19, are discussed. As a RN and former hospice nurse, she fully understands the potentially serious outcomes of diseases such as cancer and Covid-19 that may range from complete recovery to a slow-and-painful death. This is a testimony of God’s sufficiency throughout that terrible year of suffering in 2006, as well as during the intervening years. It illustrates how faith truly does overcome fear, delivering peace in the worst of times. Prayerfully, her experiences will encourage others, and bolster their faith in the God who is able to do far more than we even ask.

The Wonder of Our God

 

Cousins Barbara Eva Leonard Eddie etc 1955 corrected

 

Growing up, we lived near the families of two of my dad’s brothers and I was close to a couple of cousins who were about my age. As my younger siblings began arriving, so did younger cousins—all of whom we considered the “little kids.” It’s amazing how distant five or six years seem during our formative years, and how such age differences shrink into insignificance as adults.

Crystal was one of the little kids, so after my family moved away when I was seventeen we lost touch for many years. About five years ago Crystal started calling occasionally and we’d talk awhile, but still didn’t know one another well. Eventually though, we discovered that we are both passionate about God in a way that many others in our extended family are not; and a spiritual bond began to form.

The last few years have been very difficult for Crystal, with catastrophic illnesses plaguing her husband that have left him permanently disabled; a multitude of other cascading problems; and, in just the last year, she lost both parents as well as two of other close family members. Sinking into a place of deep despair, she continued crying out to God and, as always, He has been faithful. I share the background of Crystal’s difficulties to illustrate the wonder of the sufficiency of our Lord, even in the midst of our most desperate times. In her words…

Super close up of delicate blue wildflower blank Ava - Copy

I was walking the puppies, and out near the edge of our mowed lawn is the wilder part where the more natural grasses grow up to a height of about 18 inches.

It’s early spring and the wildflowers have just started to bloom here and there. Over the years, as I’ve taken photos of our flowers, I’ve found that some of my very favorites are the tiny wild flowers. At first glance, looking down at them from about five feet above, they don’t look all that impressive. But when I bend down and focus on the tiny blooms, some not more than an inch across, I am amazed to see the glorious details of the little petals and stamens, complete with pollen.

This day, walking near the edge of the lawn, I noticed a lone grouping of three fronds of one of these little Missouri wildflowers. It was white and delicate with little yellow stamens.

I wondered, “Will this little flower survive without anyone but the good Lord up above watering it and caring for it?” I also pondered the question, “What good will this little flower be?  If I hadn’t just happened to walk out here, nobody would even have enjoyed its beauty.”

Just then, a huge black-and-yellow-striped bumblebee, about an inch long and a half-inch wide, buzzed in and landed on the tiny wildflower. This is the kind of bumblebee I used to see growing up in Northern California where we used to love to catch them in the lupine bushes in quart glass Mason jars because we always liked to hear them “sing” as they buzzed.

It was always fun to find one that had lots of pollen dots on its back legs, gathered and distributed along its travels. I’ve since learned that many flowers don’t pollinate unless a bee comes along to do it for them.

So, here was this little lone wildflower and I watched, mesmerized, as the big bumblebee adeptly and carefully visited each and every little open petal.

I felt ashamed that I had so quickly judged the seemingly insignificant wildflower. I wasn’t the only one to enjoy its beauty—I was but one of many, including the Good Lord up above, the angels, and all the other birds and bees flying about.

Suddenly I didn’t feel like such a lone wildflower living out in the wilderness. The Spirit spoke to me and said that I am never alone, but that God Himself always makes plans to visit me and deposit within me bits of Himself, where they can stay forever, producing His life. Then, as I am filled with Him, I can be like the bumblebee and spread the beauty of His love to other flowers (people) I come in contact with.

May we all decide now to be like industrious little bumblebees, pollinating with His life all the wildflowers and cultivated flowers with whom the LORD allows us to interact.  We do this by sharing His light; by walking in His light. We do this by not reacting badly, even when others do so. We do this when we shine with His glory because we have been swimming in it ourselves, and it just exudes out of us effortlessly.

What wonderful details and symmetry God has placed on our little blue planet!

So today, praise Him, especially if you identify with being a lone little wildflower living out in the wilderness because…

He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10

 

To Do or To Seek?

I was speaking to a neighbor recently, a lady who is not a Christian and who has endured overwhelming trials during her 93 years; yet she still looks 20 years younger than she is, choosing not to dwell on her problems but to just keep on keeping on as long as she’s still here.  It’s a philosophy that sounds good on the surface, but the downside is the obvious fact that she is deeply wounded, has no peace, and all of her self-effort has resulted in a nice outward appearance that is nothing more than a mask.  In our conversation she repeated the advice, often heard from believers and non-believers alike, “God helps those who help themselves.”  What a lie of the devil!!!

Oh, how the enemy must whoop and holler when we fall for that one—when we succumb to our to-do lists and the multitude of responsibilities that we never should have shouldered in the first place; when we think we have to fix circumstances or other people; when we fall into the trap of doing things just because nobody else will—all without first asking the Lord if we’re supposed to proceed.

In our continuing efforts to be self-sufficient and successful, how often we skim over Jesus’ instruction to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.”  We may think we’re seeking after Him, but is He really FIRST on our agenda?  Or, is our ministry, job or family our number one priority?  Does our relationship with Him infuse every aspect of our life?  Do we pursue intimacy with God with as much fervor as we pursue all of the other things that we think we have to do?  Not likely.

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor abIMG_1353out your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.   Are you not of more value than they?   And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?   And why are you anxious about clothing?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.   But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  Matthew 6:25-34